The scientific discoveries "allegedly" made under influence of Marijuana

Weed or Marijuana or Cannabis is believed to have originated in Himalayas and Central Asia. Human race has been literally 'on a high' since the Neolithic ages. Marijuana or Bhaang has been popular in India and is part of many Indian myths and legends. In middle-east it is even thought to be the origin of name Hashshashins (Hashishi or one who takes Hashish), the guerilla warriors of Syria. From Ancient India and Hindukush it spread to the whole world and soon the world was ‘joint’ together in one smoky thread.

The weed apart from being used for purely recreational purposes, was also used for its medicinal and spiritual values. Almost all religions have one or another sect which has used Marijuana.  Rastafarians, Gnostic Christians, Some Sufi sects, certain Hindu sects, tribal and pagans all agree to its spiritual connection. Some of the greatest luminaries of Human race have agreed to its usage. It is still debatable whether Mary Jane had any role to play in the success of these people. While pondering on the growth of science and technology, we stumbled upon certain discoveries which were bear the Insignia of the tree of life. Potentially these scientific discoveries were made in the ‘grassland’:

Chewing Gum

During 1870s in New York, one alchemist-cum-inventor named Thomas Adams was trying to develop a substitute for rubber. By sheer chance, he was introduced to a latex named ‘Chickle’ by the former Mexican general and president Santa Anna who was then living an exiled life in New York. He tried to heat it, melt it, beat it, bend it but could not get the same results as he wanted from a rubber substitute. After a round of alchemy one day, he was sitting on his fence and taking solace in the roll of joint between his fingers, smoking away from the tireless efforts he had been putting into the ‘Chickle’ for no good. He smoked a joint and then he smoked another one. And marijuana being an appetite stimulant soon made him crave for something to eat. He looked around and found nothing. Out of exasperation and searing desire to eat something, he rolled a piece of Chickle and started chewing. He kept on chewing and rolled another joint. He knew he could not find the brother of rubber but had found a lottery ticket to millions. 
Next thing he did was to add flavours to Chickle and that is how we got “BlackJack” and “Chicklets”


Sucralose was discovered in 1976 by scientists from Tate & Lyle, working with researchers Leslie Hough and Shashikant Phadnis at Queen Elizabeth College (now part of King's College London). While researching ways to use sucrose and its synthetic derivatives, Phadnis was told to test a chlorinated sugar compound. Phadnis, whose unwavering trust in Hough is still quoted in academic circles, thought Hough asked him to "taste" it, so he did. He found the compound to be exceptionally sweet. [Src Wikipedia]
A little bird suspects that Phadnis had been high all this while. What else can explain that unwavering trust and incessant desire to taste whatever available?

Buoyancy and Archimedes' Principle

Archimedes, before his eureka moment

King Hiero II of Syracruse wanted a new crown. He commissioned a goldsmith and provisioned him with pure gold. When the crown was ready, his spies informed him of doubts about the honesty of the goldsmith. Hiero needed someone to verify and he called upon the wisest scholar in Syracruse, Archimedes. Archimeds applied all his spheres and cylinders but could not devise a way to find out if the crown was of pure gold. The King was restless and like most of the ancient royals, unpredictable. Archimedes was vexed up. He could not melt the crown or break it. He could not even put a hole or scratch into it. One day the water started flowing over his head and he took refuse in his old friend. He took out his geometry box, cut a perfectly sized paper and rolled a few dry leaves of marijuana. Then he immersed himself into his bath and started smoking. The first roll made him feel lighter. Mary Jane is known for this special relaxing touch. Then he rolled another one. He felt as if some big weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Then he suddenly realized, what the Hades! I am actually and physically feeling lighter. He had been in water many times before but never realized this. His brain started to work and soon he discovered that the strain of purity has to stand the test of water. And then in his delirious excitement he shouted “Eureka”. He knew he had found the application of buoyancy to find the density of immersed substances which was later known as Archimedes principle

Now you know why the clothes or the gaping eyes of the world did not matter to him, when he ran naked in ecstasy.


How Newton saw the apple fall. Slowly
In the middle of 17th Century, when London was caught by the widespread plague, a young Newton was caught up between his desire to study and his mother’s wish for farming. He spent his time reading mathematics and observing the ways of world, trying to find some harmony. He normally took refuge in his apple orchard, idling beneath his favourite apple tree, looking at the green leaves and the peeping sky. One fine day, a local friend introduced him to the dried up leaves of a certain plant. Newton who was naturally gifted, could see the Light and devised a water based device for smoking the new stuff. But it was not working well. Irritated, he took the simpleton way of smoking and rolled a paper below his favourite apple tree. And then like the others, he rolled another one. His gaze was fixated at a peculiar apple, redder than the others and brighter than the others. He had never recognized that the apples were so red, the smell was so intoxicating and the breeze actually had a sound. His senses had never been this alert. As providence would have it, the apple, which he called the apple of his eye, had ripened and in that moment of concentrated mental stimulation the forbidden fruit fell down. And God sent Newton’s Godspeed brain could see it in all slow motion falling at a certain rate under the pull from an invisible force emanating from the core of the earth. And soon everything was clear. It was the earth, which pulled everything towards itself. He finished applying the analogy to everything around him and the hypothesis was perfect. Of course all references to marijuana were removed in the purges in the medieval Europe.

It is undocumented, but it is said that Newton went back and fixed that smoking device immediately after the discovery of Gravity, and named it fondly as Gravity Bong.

Time Dilation and Special Relativity

What is in that pipe, Genius?

Einstein on the other hand was a really gifted genius, who did not need any falling apple. He stumbled upon some secret society document (some doubt Knight Templars) which revealed Newton’s love for the tree of life. He tried to imitate his idol but with no gain. The holy smoke brought him no inspiration. Exasperated, he joined a patent office. There he examined different patent applications. One day fed up with the rubbish filed on the name of patents and his badly tuned violin, he went to his balcony and rolled a joint. He smoked one, and rolled another and started looking to the world in front of him. His mind was moving very fast somewhat like a low amplitude sinusoidal wave. But the world around had slowed down. He felt he had been there for ages watching the world. He felt he was in a totally different reference frame and the passage of time in this frame had slowed down. Soon the influence was over. He was back to the reference frame of the godforsaken world.

He set on the quest of finding, why the world had slowed down in his reference frame. He asked his fellow scientists and pot-ters, and everyone verified that indeed the world slows down after the smoking experiment. He deduced that everything was the same, except his mind was moving very quick. How quick? Lightning quick. So his mind was working as fast as light. That’s pretty high speed. He concluded that when a reference frame is moving at a speed comparable to light, the passage of time slows down in that frame. This was the birth of Special Theory of Relativity and Time Dilation.

There are many other discoveries which can also be accredited to the wisdom weed, like the eerie similarity between the smoking pipes and flutes, the elusive nature of inter-nodes in music. But none of them have been confirmed. It is doubted that Shakespeare was fond of pot. That at least explains so many new words (like arouse, green-eyed, lonely etc.) that he made up. Imagine him talking what would have been gibberish in those times without Mary Jane by his side to save him from ridicule.

[This article may have been written under an apple tree in a grassland, so do not use it as academic reference in undeserving circles. Also those who take this seriously will not be taken seriously]


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{ 2 comments ... read them below or Comment }

  1. So it seems you are taking your regular dose of Mary Jane regularly, such insights are never devolved by God to sober brains. :)

    The post was either hilarious or I am high and don't know the exact cause of my laughter. :P

    1. hehe. Please share ahead with your friends or like minded ppl. FB seems a nice place. Thanks for reading.


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